literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
