i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
