I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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