There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
