She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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