he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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