I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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