When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
