The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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