I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
