I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
