Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
