Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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