considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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