operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
It's no shave November. This is our time.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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