I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize