There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
