Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
