google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You pole danced in your parka.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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