you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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