Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
i've created a new STD.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
