i need an iv and a liver transplant
I skipped work to stalk him.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
