I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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