$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
