So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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