i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
