Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
