Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
