i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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