Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
