last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
