i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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