I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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