I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
