please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
