we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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