we need to drink 2009 down the drain
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
