I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
