When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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