Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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