That's intense
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
