omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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