I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
