It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
