belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
