a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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