If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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