this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
