I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
