Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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