fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
