SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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