Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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