Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
That accounts for only three of the penises
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
