"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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