Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
