So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Randomize
