It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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