idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
time to smoke my breakfast
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
