Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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