wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
