If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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