garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
meet me or not, i'm out of control
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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