hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize