Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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