But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
