I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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