if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
