Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The feeling are messing with the penis
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
this is an emotional support booty call
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
