She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
