Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
