I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
How external is "for external use only"?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
