we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
The air was thick with penises
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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